Every year, International Women’s Day prompts reflection, with a big focus on the numbers. Yet, in my experience, the most honest conversations I have with senior women throughout the year are not just about representation and data. They are more real. About energy, ambition and sustaining motivation. And the quiet question many rarely say out loud: How do I stay ambitious without being drained?
Consider a senior leader I worked with recently – she is managing global teams, had just led a major client pitch successfully, mentored three rising stars in her company and managed a complex home life. She is ambitious, capable and committed – but something had to give.
The numbers show progress. Nearly 90% of FTSE 350 firms met the voluntary 40% women-on-boards target. Women now hold 43% of FTSE 350 board seats and around 35% of broader leadership roles. Yet only nine women lead FTSE 100 companies as CEOs. In sectors like property, where I do much of my work, executive boards remain predominantly male.
The wider picture shows a pattern: Vodafone UK research found that over a third of women see their gender as a barrier to senior roles, while 71% of mothers say they feel overloaded. Combine this with “competence hangover” – the cumulative mental strain of always being the one who remembers, organises and fixes things at work and at home – it’s easy to see why ambition can feel exhausting.
The IWD 2026 theme: ‘Give to Gain’, encourages generosity and collaboration. But the challenge for women leaders is not just about giving to others – it’s about giving to yourself too. Sustaining ambition requires self-awareness, balance and intentional generosity.
Giving to others: Leadership Generosity in Action
When I talk about leadership generosity, it’s not endless availability. It is intentional, high-impact action that strengthens people and systems.
Over the years, I have seen five practices make a profound difference.
1.Advocacy
Some of the most powerful moments in my own career came when someone spoke up for me in a room I was not in.
Advocacy does not need to be loud. It is often subtle. It is redirecting credit. Challenging bias calmly. Endorsing potential.
As the Vodafone research tells us, more than half of women are influenced by the presence of female leaders when choosing an employer. Visibility matters. One of my clients – a female managing partner – feels they have an edge in pitches because they bring diverse thought to their clients brief. They have promoted several young women to director level, so they are also getting the benefit of younger perspectives.
For male leaders, this is equally important. In fact, some of the most effective advocates I know are men who understand that fairness is not a women’s issue, it is a leadership issue.
Advocacy says: you belong here. And in my experience, that simple message changes careers.
2.Mentoring
Everyone should mentor someone.
I have always believed that if you manage people, part of your responsibility is to develop them. Not as a tick box exercise, but as a genuine investment.
The women I mentor often do not need technical advice. They need space. Perspective. Someone who believes in them when their confidence dips. And the impact ripples. The woman you support today becomes the advocate for someone else tomorrow.
3.Time for Feedback
Clarity is one of the kindest things a leader can offer. I see too many capable women second guess themselves because feedback has been vague or avoided.
Preparing properly for development conversations, being specific about strengths and growth areas, and focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past gives people energy.
In high pressure environments, uncertainty fuels anxiety. Clarity restores direction.
If we expect people to take their development seriously, we must give it the time it deserves.
4.Access
Access is transformative. I often ask senior leaders: who are you bringing into rooms where decisions are made?
Access to networks, clients, senior stakeholders and stretch assignments builds confidence in a way no training course can. Women remain underrepresented in CEO and executive director roles despite board level gains. In my experience, one of the missing pieces is operational exposure and visible accountability.
Opening a door does not reduce your influence. It multiples it.
5.Belief
Perhaps the most profound gift is belief.
I have seen repeatedly that when someone feels genuinely believed in, something shifts.
They take the stretch role. They apply for the promotion. They speak up.
Belief is not blind optimism. It is seeing potential that is not yet fully formed and being willing to back it.
Giving to Yourself
Many ambitious women I know are exceptionally generous to others. They mentor. They advocate. They carry emotional labour. They deliver beyond the brief.
And then they wonder why they are tired.
So generosity must include yourself.
In my coaching work, these key strategies help women sustain ambition without compromise.
Boundaries
Boundaries are strategic, not selfish.
Protect ambition not by doing more, but by doing less of what no longer truly matters. Clarify priorities and say no to those areas that are not important.
Physical Recovery
Stress sits in the body. Sleep, movement, time away from screens, these are not indulgences. They are foundations.
I have seen leaders transform not because they changed strategy, but because they changed their energy management.
Reflection
Without reflection, ambition can become relentless.
Creating thinking space, whether through coaching, journalling or quiet time, allows you to ask: is this still what I want? Ambition chosen feels very different from ambition inherited.
Redefining Success
Some women are striving towards definitions of success that no longer serve them. Life changes. Responsibilities change. Priorities evolve.
Redefining success is not stepping back. It is stepping into a role that aligns with your values, motivations and ambitions.
A senior executive I worked with was offered the opportunity of being the future CEO as the founders were planning their future exit. She felt the offer was a few years too soon as she had a young family. Through negotiation she explored a Co-CEO option with shared responsibilities, that would fulfil the growth objectives and match her ambitions. She can now achieve her ambitions without compromising her success.
Shared Responsibility
Are you the “reliable high performer” who quietly carries more than her share?. If you are always the one smoothing conflict or finishing unfinished work, it may be time to pause and delegate.
Allowing others to rise is also a form of generosity.
This IWD think about generosity in two directions:
Give to others: advocacy, mentoring clarity, access, belief
Give to yourself: boundaries, recovery, reflection, permission to redefine success, and shared responsibility.
Ambition without exhaustion is not a compromise. It is leadership with wisdom. It’s sustainable, impactful and energising. It’s how women – and leaders of all kinds- can thrive in demanding roles without losing themselves in the process.
And that, for me, feels like an important part of progress.
If you want to explore how to achieve your ambitions without compromise, you can contact Oona at team@potentialplus-int.com.
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